


Stay With Us This Year

by JesusChristsuzIe



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, POV Sokka (Avatar), Protective Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar) is Bad at Feelings, Zuko (Avatar)-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26635393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesusChristsuzIe/pseuds/JesusChristsuzIe
Summary: Sokka just wants to know where his boyfriend is at the holidays, Zuko insists it's not a big deal.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Kiyi & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 244





	Stay With Us This Year

They'd been dating for a year, they'd been friends for six, and still, every year without fail, Zuko refused to spend Christmas with him. He didn't tell any of them where he went, how long he went for, or when he came back, they just knew he was never at home.  
  
Toph had, on a few occasions, insisted they go round to his, boxes of leftovers and christmas puddings and the finest mince pies that had only gotten slightly squished on the drive over, but every time they arrived to Zuko's dingy little flat, no matter the time of day, he was never there. Nor was he there christmas eve or boxing day.  
  
Sokka had tried to broach the subject with him a few times throughout the year, but Zuko always brushed him off, he was with family he said, he liked to spend the holidays alone he said, he didn't want to impose he said.   
  
Sokka knew it was all bullshit. Zuko didn't really have anyone else to spend the holidays with after Iroh died, Sokka remembered the way Zuko had cried into his shoulder that night, tears mixing with snot, crying about how he had no family, how everyone had finally left him. It had broken Sokka's heart as he tried to comfort Zuko, insisting over and over that they were his family, they would never leave him. They'd been friends for years, Sokka knew they all saw Zuko as family, Toph practically hung off him when they were together, Aang trying his best to monopolise the rest of Zuko's time. Sokka would be annoyed by the fact they seemed to spend more time with his boyfriend than he did, if he didn't find the way Zuko still seemed flustered by their attention kind of adorable. Suki and Katara were no exception, the three of them frequently had 'Girls' Day Out' together, to which neither Sokka, Aang or Toph were invited. (Sokka was insanely jealous, he loved shopping, something all three of them knew, and he found it hard to hide his jealousy when Zuko came back with bags of new clothes and accessories.) Zuko always came home smelling like a dozen different perfumes with freshly painted nails and his hair braided prettily by Katara.   
  
(The day Katara had found out Zuko could braid hair she had squealed so loudly Sokka thought his eardrums might burst, and had forced Zuko to sit with her the entire night, braiding and unbraiding her hair into increasingly complicated styles.)  
  
Sokka also knew that, for all he liked to put on this edgy emo exterior, Zuko was fragile and insecure. He liked to be surrounded by warmth and love and care. He liked when they all got drunk at Aang and Katara's place and slept over in a big pillow fort in the living room, they way the four of them had done when they were kids. He liked when Sokka peppered his face with kisses and wrapped him up in big hugs. He liked being the little spoon every night. He even liked when Toph would pretend to forget her cane, clinging to his arm when they were out in public, landing rough punches on his arms whenever she felt like it. He liked feeling needed. He didn't like to be alone, and Sokka couldn't imagine why he'd want to be alone at the time of year when everywhere you looked family and love was staring you in the face.  
  
Sokka knew he wasn't the only one hurt by it either.  
  
Zuko was always with them, even while at work. Zuko still worked at the Jasmine Dragon, that was where they spent most of their time, harassing Zuko while he was behind the counter with frivolous orders and trivial complaints. Zuko would roll his eyes, but Sokka could always see the small smile pulling at his lips. Sokka and Toph would trip him up as he walked by to deliver orders and clean tables, Katara would insist that he personally pour her tea for her, even if the teapot was sitting exactly 2 inches away from her, Suki always made him heat up her doughnut for her before eating, complaining if it wasn't _exactly_ the right temperature (God knows why, jam doughnuts, Sokka would always argue, in his expert opinion, were not a food meant to be consumed hot), and Aang would bring him flowers and sometimes little cacti at the counter. Zuko always glared at Aang when he did this, telling him it was unhygienic, but no one missed the fact that he kept every little plant on the counter, dotted around the pastries, the register and the tea bags. Sokka secretly thought he was getting anxious about running out of space.  
  
Zuko was hardly ever in his own apartment, the only sign someone actually lived there when he ran home to get changed and sometimes shower. It wasn't even that he spent all his time at Sokka's, even if Sokka was desperate for them to move in together. He just liked to be around his friends, going round to theirs to have lunch or movie night or paint each others nails. He spent a lot of time either at Suki or Toph's, insisting he couldn't spend anymore time alone around Aang and Katara and their oogies. The only night he didn't spend glued to one of their hips, he spent with Mai and Ty Lee. Sokka didn't know them that well, but the three of them had been friends since they were kids, and Sokka didn't dare try and come between them.  
  
The point was, Zuko was always there, he stayed round for dinner, he took them shopping, he brought them lunch at work and school. He was _always_ there. So when he turned down their offers to spend christmas with him, the holiday that was defined by spending time with loved ones, it stung. Toph liked to joke that he just didn't want to buy them gifts, but the hurt was evident in her voice, no matter how light she tried to keep her tone.  
  
It wasn't just that he wasn't with them, it was that he didn't seem to trust them enough to tell them where he was. Sokka knew this affected Katara the most.  
  
Katara and Zuko's relationship hadn't started off well, and it had taken a long time for them to even get close to trusting each other. They had worked hard on their friendship, harder than either of them had had to work on their friendships with anybody else in the group, and had come out stronger on the other side. Katara and Zuko were probably best friends, they had fought to be able to trust each other, and took that trust very seriously. They told each other everything, Katara had known Zuko liked Sokka long before even Zuko was aware of it. On movie nights, they stayed holed up in the corner, whispering and giggling together, Zuko skillfully braiding Katara's hair, even tying up the little hair loopies she had had since she was five.   
  
In the early stages of their friendship, it was common to walk in on Zuko and Katara having shouting matches over every little thing. Sokka always liked to tease them about a particularly useless argument about watermelon flavoured sweets. But these days, the only thing Katara and Zuko ever had real arguments about was Christmas. Every argument was the same, Katara screaming that Zuko didn't trust them, that he never let them in, Zuko shouting that he trusted them with his life, that it didn't matter, that it wasn't their business. It always ended with Katara in a crying heap on the floor and Zuko storming out to his apartment, the only time he voluntarily went home.  
  
They would make up, of course they would. After a few days of awkward evasion and tense side taking (Suki and Aang always with Katara, Toph stubborn with Zuko, Sokka caught in the middle of his boyfriend and his sister) they always called each other up, apologies and tears shared over the phone and everything would go back to normal.  
  
It was painful that Zuko didn't trust them enough to let them into this part of his life when he had, eventually, opened the door to everything else. He had trusted them with his past, his father and his scars, his friends and past relationships, he even came out to them before his Uncle. It was painful, but Sokka had never pushed the topic, not before.  
  
It was movie night, Katara and Zuko were curled up in the corner, Aang leant against her legs, Sokka's feet pushed up against Zuko's thigh, Toph sprawled out on the floor and Suki draped over Katara's ugly purple armchair, that went with absolutely nothing else in their entire house, but Katara had forced Aang to keep anyway. No one quite knew why, she didn't even sit in it most of the time.  
  
They were watching a sappy Christmas film, Sokka wasn't really paying attention, he wasn't sure it mattered though, all these films had basically the same plot anyway. It had managed to stir up some warm, gooey feelings within him, despite the absolute lack of chemistry between the two leads, the overused plot, bad writing and even worse acting. Something about the low light of the room, the proximity of his closest friends, Zuko's warmth beside him, it made him feel all sentimental, and he glanced over to where Katara and Zuko were giggling together.  
  
"Zuko, stay with us for Christmas, just this year, please?"  
  
Zuko's hands stilled where they were in Katara's hair, small strands slipping from his grasp, the smile slipping instantly off his face and his eyes growing cold. Everybody else in the room, save from Toph, turned to look at him, eyes wide and hopeful.  
  
"Yeah, come on Zuko! It'll be so fun, Dad and Bato are coming, and me and Aang are cooking Christmas dinner together for the first time ever, and we're gonna get this massive tree, and Aang got these beautiful lights that look like little fires and we're gonna hang them all around the house, its gonna be wonderful."  
  
Katara's face was spilt with a wide grin, she looked like a little girl again, sincere eagerness plastered painfully all over her face.   
  
"I- I can't."  
  
Zuko looked guilty, like it physically pained him to turn them down yet again.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Everyone turned to Sokka in shock. Katara was usually the one who challenged Zuko about the holidays, occasionally Toph and sometimes even Aang, but never Sokka. He had always accepted it with a quiet resignation, but he was tired of being alone on Christmas night, curled in on himself in his big, cold bed, rather than around Zuko's warm body.  
  
Zuko's eyes were slightly wide for a moment, before he quickly schooled his features, his face completely shutting down in a way Sokka hadn't seen for a long time, "I've told you before, it's not a big deal, I just can't spend the holidays with you guys."  
  
"If it wasn't a big deal you'd be able to tell us."  
  
It was Suki who spoke this time, shocking everyone once again. Suki loved Zuko, even if she teased him a little too ruthlessly, it was clear in the way she tugged him into different shops, the way she brought him soup on the rare occasions he got sick or the way she always made sure to compliment his nails, but she had never, not once, asked him about Christmas. She complained about it loudly with Toph and Aang, claiming Zuko was a cheap skate and a dickhead who _clearly_ didn't care enough about his friends, but when he was there, she would quietly look away, a pained expression on her face, and let it slide every time.  
  
She looked directly into Zuko's eyes, her blue stare colder than Sokka had ever seen it.  
  
"It isn't a big deal, I'm just going to visit family."  
  
"Bullshit."  
  
Zuko groaned loudly, the low pitch if his voice making it sound almost like a growl, and dragged a hand down his face. Katara had crawled out of his lap by this point, standing in front of him with Aang, hands on her hips.  
  
"I'm not lying to you, I'm going to see my family. Why won't you just trust me?"  
  
"Why won't you trust us? Just tell us the truth Zuko."  
  
 _"I am!"_  
  
Everyone flinched back. Zuko was on his feet now, shouting down at them. Zuko was a lot taller than everyone but Sokka, who was currently sitting down, and could be incredibly intimidating when drawn up to his full height, even after you knew how soft and fragile he was on the inside. Zuko tried to make a point of not shouting around them, even when he argued with Katara, his voice never got _that_ loud, never reaching the booming power that Sokka hated so much.  
  
He sighed, and fell back onto the sofa, rubbing his cheeks rather aggressively.  
  
Nobody else moved, too shocked to do anything. Sokka wasn't sure what to believe, he knew Zuko didn't have any other family, but there was a conviction with which he spoke, a deep betrayal at not being believed, that made him question it.  
  
Finally, Zuko leant forward and spoke, he didn't make eye contact with any if them, his whole speech directed at his socks, "I wasn't completely honest with you about everything that happened. I wasn't lying about going to see family, though. Every year I drive to Massachusetts to see my sister."  
  
"You have a sister?"  
  
It was the first time Aang had spoken during the conversation, he sounded like he might have started crying if the shouting had gone on any longer. Sokka knew how he felt.  
  
"Two. Azula and my half-sister Kiyi. I didn't tell you about them, because Azula is- sick. She's in McLean Hospital. It's the best hospital in the country, and it's where all my inheritance and almost all my money goes every month, it's why I live in such a shitty apartment. It's expensive, but it's worth it. I don't know whether she's making any real improvements, whether she'll ever get better, but at least she's cared for.  
  
"I go down there and have dinner with her every Christmas. It's- painful. Sometimes she doesn't recognise me, sometimes she does and she- she threatens me. Sometimes she thinks I'm our father, and she doesn't stop crying or screaming the whole visit. Sometimes she thinks we're kids again and she promises she'll protect me. I go every year though, because she doesn't have anyone else, just me. Then on the way back up I stop in and see my mom and Kiyi."  
  
Zuko didn't continue, he stayed staring down at his feet, on the absolute edge of the couch.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us?"  
  
Suki's voice was quiet and tentative, she said every word slowly, and approached the sofa even slower, snaking a soft arm around his shoulders.  
  
"Because- because, she's so- she's so hurt. I have to protect her, I have to, it doesn't matter. I can't let her get hurt again, I let her get hurt before, and I can't- I just can't let it happen again."  
  
Every word sounded like it hurt to speak. Sokka couldn't see Zuko's face anymore, hidden away by Suki's body, but he could see her hand rubbing circles on his back, could hear her quiet shushing sounds and whispered words of comfort.  
  
"You told me your mom was dead."  
  
Sokka hadn't meant to sound so betrayed when he spoke, but it hurt to find out that your boyfriend had been lying to you about such a big part of his life.  
  
"I thought she was when I told you that, when she left I didn't know where she was, or even really why she left. All I knew was she was gone. I only found out she was alive around four years ago. My mom wasn't in a good place when she left, it took her everything to get where she is now, and I know you guys wouldn't do anything to her, or Azula or even Kiyi, but I just- I can't help it. They were both hurt so much by him, and I feel like I need to protect them from just _everyone_ , I guess. I didn't even want bring Uncle with me to see Azula, I just didn't want to risk it. I'm sorry I lied to you, but I don't want to- I can't risk Azula again."  
  
Zuko was crying now, choked sobs escaping every once in a while, and he was hunched over in Suki's arms. Sokka felt kind of useless. Shouldn't he be the one to comfort his boyfriend? Shouldn't he be the one who made him feel happy again? Made him feel safe? Instead he was just sat there, watching as Suki, Katara, Aang and Toph all crowded Zuko into a hug. No one said anything, they just wrapped their arms around him and each other, a silent embrace, until finally Zuko's sobs calmed into muffled sniffles, and he raised his head.  
  
It was quiet for a long time, like everyone was holding their breath. Katara spoke first, she sounded on the verge of tears herself as she spoke quietly, close to a whisper.  
  
"I'm sorry Zuko. We shouldn't have pushed you. It's just- we love you so much, ok? And we want to be able to spend all our time with you. Christmas is really special to us, me and Sokka because that's when our family could actually see each other, mom and dad and Bato and Gran Gran. We had specific traditions that we still follow now, and we wanted to share those with you. Zuko I hope you understand that our questioning came from a desire to spend time with someone we love, not out of mistrust."  
  
Zuko didn't respond, his eyes were shut tight, the heel of his palms digging into them.  
  
"Zuko we understand now, we won't pressure you to spend Christmas with us. I never spent Christmas with Katara before Gyatso died. I'm sorry we made you tell us before you were ready, and I promise we won't bring it up again."  
  
Toph stepped forward, pushing directly through Aang and Katara, who both squawked indignantly, but ultimately let it slide. She laid a hand on Zuko's shoulder, the other one making a mad grab in the air for his hand, before finally closing around his wrist and pulling it gently away from his eye, where she laced her fingers with his. It was the most gentle, intimate touch Sokka had seen Toph give. She wasn't good with feelings, and he knew she hated having to comfort other people, but she had a soft spot for Zuko and had always made the extra effort with him.  
  
"Zuko. Aang and Katara are right," Sokka didn't think he had actually heard Toph use any of their names before, "we were wrong to push you, we should have trusted you to tell us when you were ready, or not tell us at all. This was yours, and we shouldn't have pulled it out of you. But now that we know, let us share the burden, please? I know it's hard to open up, let people in. I'm probably the one person on the planet who gets that the most. And the way you've trusted and loved us after how much you've been through is crazy, and strong and so impressive. But now we know about it, do you think you could let us into this part of your life? You don't have to let us meet Azula, now or ever, if you think it'd be too much, but can we meet your mom? And Kiyi? Wouldn't it be nice to bring your boyfriend home to your parents? I know they've been through a lot, you all have, but let us love them they way you let us love you, please?"

Zuko took his other hand away from his left eye, and looked into Toph's, Sokka wasn't sure what he was looking for, but whatever it was he seemed to find it. He pulled Toph in for a tight hug, one that she, for once, didn't fight against.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I don't- I don't know if new people is a good move for Azula, but I can ask my mom if she'd want to meet you guys. She's probably dying to, anyway, I know Kiyi is, I talk about you guys enough. I didn't- I haven't shown you guys, but, when she was younger, every time I would go over there, Kiyi would give me a drawing to take home. She says they're my Christmas presents. She said that I talk about you guys so much, she thought I'd like a portrait with you guys. I keep it in my wallet, it makes me feel loved when I need to remind myself."  
  
Sokka's heart felt like it might burst as he watched Zuko awkwardly shift around on the couch and pull his wallet out from the back pocket of his jeans.  
  
The paper he pulled out was crinkled beyond belief, and slightly torn. It was a picture of all six of them, and three people Sokka assumed to be Ursa and her husband and Kiyi.  
  
The pictures were not accurate whatsoever, based solely off of descriptions from Zuko and a little girl's imagination, but Sokka felt confident he could guess who was who.   
  
Zuko was easy, he was the most obvious, Kiyi having actually met him, and the big red scar on half his face was kind of a giveaway. Kiyi was drawn in his arms, which were little more than thin, red loops, a crown on her head and long hair that reached past her knees, Sokka had a feeling that was not taken from life. Sokka was beside Zuko, he guessed, a blue blob with a short spiky ponytail, Katara beside him, an identical blue blob with long hair and eyelashes. Aang was easily the most off, Kiyi had given him hair, and made him the tallest of the group, his tattoos, big bands of blue that covered almost the entire width of his arms in real life, were small little arrows that barely covered the backs of his hands, Toph was barely knee height beside him, a green blob with a big black scribble of hair and no eyes, Sokka didn't think Kiyi quite understood what blind meant, and Suki on the end, a tall thin green blob with red eyes, that Sokka guessed was supposed to be the heavy red eyeshadow she almost always wore.  
  
The drawing was crude, drawn by a girl he had never even met, but it was already his favourite picture. The fact that Zuko talked about them, about _him_ , so much that Kiyi had drawn not only them, but a picture of all of them and her _family_ together, made him feel unbelievably happy.  
  
Zuko was busy describing the contents of the picture to Toph, something Sokka had always found so incredibly thoughtful. Zuko never forgot Toph was blind, which sounded like a given, but was actually pretty easy for the rest of them to do. Zuko always announced himself to Toph when he entered a room or approached her unexpectedly, he always described things for her, using touch and smell and sometimes even taste, but never size or shape or colour. He always told her what he was doing with his hands, telling her when he was waving, or giving a thumbs up, or flipping her off, and always made sure to read things out for her, instead of shoving things under her nose like Sokka always found himself doing.  
  
Sokka wound his arm round Zuko's waist, placing a kiss on his cheek. Zuko didn't even have to look up as he slung his arm around Sokka's shoulders in turn.  
  
The rest of the night was spent talking, it was an intimate night of feelings and secrets and jokes and stories and, even though a lot of the night had been spent crying and shouting, Sokka wouldn't have traded it for the world.  
  
Later, when they were lying in bed, Sokka looked at Zuko, his face content and eyes tired. He smiled back up Sokka, and nuzzled further into Sokka's shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry Zuko."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Sokka sighed, he knew it was kind of cowardly to have this conversation so late, when they were alone, and Zuko was already half asleep.  
  
"I love you, Zuko, so much, and I never want to pressure you like I did today. I promised you I'd respect your boundaries, but I didn't and that's on me. No one else. Just me."  
  
Zuko had pulled away from him, he looked at Sokka with a soft concern, he looked tired and slightly stressed at the mention of their conversation from earlier, and Sokka was worried for a moment that he might start crying.  
  
"Sokka, it hurt today, when you guys didn't believe me. I know I should have told you guys the full story before, but I just _couldn't_. You're right, you shouldn't have pushed it, but I- I forgive you, and I love you too."  
  
Sokka let out a deep breath at those three little words, it still managed to shock him when Zuko told him he loved him, he still couldn't believe that someone like Zuko really did love him, and it hurt him deeply that he'd pushed Zuko too far.  
  
Zuko leant back into Sokka's arms, pulling them down, so they lay flat on Sokka's bed. He fell asleep with his boyfriend wrapped tightly in his arms, hands intertwined where they rested on his stomach, head buried in Zuko's soft hair.

**Author's Note:**

> I love kiyi  
> I love Zuko   
> I love kiyi and Zuko   
> Also I literally just want Azula to get the help she deserves  
> I dont know tons about mental health tho and if I offended you with my portrayal of Azula please say


End file.
